Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
we're so committed to being not committed
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
