she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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