just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
