idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize