Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Randomize
