Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
