a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
