Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
