this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
