He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I wear drunk well.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
