At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Hippo gnu deer
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
