im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
