dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
