So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
