HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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