Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
