why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
