In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
