her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
