I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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