My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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