mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
