we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
