Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
