i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So much Jack, so little girl.
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