i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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