yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
