it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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