just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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