I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
