I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
