uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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