with your own penis?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
