Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
