if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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