no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
