You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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