When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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