I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
