My sheets look like a crime scene.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
whose ass print is on the piano?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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