Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
