It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
