how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
