she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
