I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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