lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
