I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
