Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
