She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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