Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Randomize
