When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
