I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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