Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
