i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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